Think about the good parts to fear. You run faster. You’re more focused. You don’t feel pain as much. Every bad feeling… They’re all signs you’re actually stronger. So when you feel afraid, you should think about how your body is getting ready for what’s coming. Only when weak may I carry my true strength.
writing advice: never italicize words to show emphasis! if you’re writing well then the reader will know and you don’t need them!
me: oh really??? listen up, pal, you can just try an pull italics from my cold, dead fingers
I feel this on a spiritual level.
bringing back this great example.
I can and will italicize the fuck out of my writing, thank you very much.
you can pry italics out of my cold dead hands
My father and I play this… game… in which we both pretend to be attempting to assassinate each other. When we serve the other food or drink, we’ll adopt the most suspicious mannerisms and wording possible, as though the food were secretly poisoned and we are eagerly waiting for them to eat it and die.
The other player pretends that they know their food is poisoned, but must feign ignorance and try to come up with subtle excuses not to eat/drink it without seeming rude or directly confronting the other about the attempted kinslaying.
Wholesome family bonding.
Last night my father brought me “a nice tall glass of ice water” and stood there watching me closely as I sipped it. I pretended to swallow, at which point he threw his head back and laughed maniacally.
While he was laughing, I spit the entire mouthful of water that I’d been holding in my mouth onto his shirt, patted my chest, and said, “Oh, dear, Father; I’m afraid this water was just too cold. I need to let it warm up. Why don’t I make us some… tea.”
Another thing we do is imply that we have set lethal traps for each other.
“Goodnight Father,” I’ll tell him (because Father with a capital F is the most sinister and threatening thing you can call your dad). “I hope you sleep well tonight. Very well. It would be a shame if something… disturbed you.“ In response, he’ll make an offhand remark about needing to Google the upper age limit for sudden infant death syndrome, or he’ll bring up my “inheritance” and the possibility that he might have worthy bastard children somewhere.
My mother does not like our game.
so my family went to the tulip fields and my little sister didn’t have a good time at all
WHY IS THAT ONE FUCKING TULIP A DIFFERENT COLOR I WOULD BE UPSET TOO
it is the chosen one
it must be the main character in the anime
It got funnier when I realized just how many tulips are in this picture.
“In a world where tulips were yellow, one dared to be different…”
Every spring this picture comes back around and every spring I crack up
at first you just see the row of tulips in the foreground, and it’s funny
then you see the rows stretching back for yards and yards, and it’s even funnier
Heyo so I’m throwing a big ol party after quarantine if this hits 1 mill so uh if anyone’s out there pls help embarrass my sister even more 7 years later
Can we consider how many people Toph caused internal bleeding and broken bones?
oh honey they are fully dead
No but Toph was a professional earthbending wrestler with the power to feel the whole human body at once through vibrations with enough accuracy to tell lies. She knows exactly how much pressure the human body can take before important things start breaking or I’ll go buy a hat for the sole purpose of eating it.
oh, sure. she doesn’t care though. she’s 12 and she’s thriving and she loves to murder
Aang: I have to defeat Ozai, but I don’t think I can murder anyone
Toph: I can do it.
Aang:
Toph: I’ve killed like 20 people since we met
Aang:
Sokka:
Katara:
Toph: I mean you guys have killed a bunch of people too
Aang: what no I haven’t I’ve never killed anyone!
Toph: twinkletoes you pick people up and drop them and blow them into walls. katara hits people with water hard enough to throw them to the ground and encases them in ice. Zuko’s straight-up throwing fire at people. Sokka hits people with a club.
Katara:
Aang:
Sokka:
Toph: when you hit people really hard they often die. I mean, I feel it every time. not counting the head trauma and frostbite that probably means they die later.
Toph: ….did you guys not know you were killing people?
Zuko: I mean I wasn’t going to bring it up but she’s right
Toph: I thought we were all doing it on purpose!
Zuko: it’s all in self-defense, it’s not like we’re going out of our way to kill people, but these things happen. Sometimes people have to die to protect everyone else. I thought you understood that already
Katara:
Sokka:
Aang:
Aang:
Aang: *extremely loud airbender scream*
[Aang looks to all the other Avatars]
[All of them but Kyoshi avoid his eyes]
Kyoshi - I don’t see what the problem is
It’s an earthbender thing
aang: Oh wisdom of Avatars past, advise me on how to defeat Ozai
kiyoshi: sometimes you gotta murder a bitch, kid. don’t know what else to tell you
aang:
aang: can I talk to a different ancestor please? maybe one not so down with murder?
absolutely nothing will top the video game experience of being SHIT at a video game but all the npcs you come into contact with are in awe of you for being the most amazing and talented person they’ve ever met
the seven year old daughter of some npc i’m helping out: PAPA! YOU MUST COME MEET THE HERO WHO SAVED MY LIFE!
me, dropping a grenade on the ground accidentally and immediately blowing myself up:
Pokemon is almost always the opposite of this. I’ll have 6 gods in my party and won the championship a half dozen times and some snot nosed kid with one diglet will still be like, “you think you can beat me?”
My favorite form of redemption arc is “I hate that I have morals now”
Like “I realized that I was in the wrong and now I will work hard to atone” is good and all, but “how dare you infect me with morals” will always be so much more entertaining
That moment the former baddie starts to walk away from some bad situation, almost gets out, and then just stops, curses, and turns around to go help?
*chef’s kiss* delicious
This one gets it
“I always knew deep down, you were a good guy”
“YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!!!!!!”
Years ago I saw a Lord of the Rings display at Barnes and Noble that included a Hallmark-style greeting card with Frodo on the front and inside text that read: “We set out to save the Shire, Sam. And it has been saved. But not for me.”
And I have been thinking about that card ever since, desperately wishing I had bought it, and wondering what the fuck kind of occasion would warrant a card featuring that sentiment.
weirdly enough, i have actually been the recipient of that exact card. it was a birthday card from someone who knew i loved lotr but didn’t really know much about the actual movie, but i feel like she should’ve been clued into the ‘wtf’ vibe from the incredibly agonized face frodo is making on the front of the card.
If you still have that card… I would do anything to see a photo of it. You can cover up the personalized message, but I really, really, really want to see proof that this card existed and was not the product of my overactive imagination.
@glumshoe I FOUND IT!!
I’d forgotten just how close to death Frodo looks on the front, not to mention Sam’s agonized face and the very odd stylistic choice of including the Ring instruction and the Eye of Sauron in the background. who the hell is the target audience for this?
Fuck!!!! It’s so much better than I remembered!
Citra is REALLY bad at meowing. She sounds like a broken party favor when she remembers to actually meow.
OH MY GOD
Being an orange female kitty is already rare, but you had to go adopt the one in a million who can’t cat properly
She came in a two pack so I had to.
Simcoe (left) and Citra (right), both girls. Both rescues. Both biological litter mates (sisters). Both long term loving projects to teach human trust to.
Simcoe got 100% of the meowing capabilities.
WAIT! WAIT!! So, are you telling me that actual, normal meow was the sister? Who, seemingly, just meowed at the moment because she saw her sister struggling so she tried to help by giving her an example???
THAT was actually Seymour. Who does also love Citra, but wasn’t really helping. He’s just very vocal because he’s an exclamation mark in a cat’s body.
Just by his eyes it’s clear he really is an “exclamation mark in a cat’s body” 😂😂😂
“an exclamation mark in a cat’s body” may be the best description i’ve ever heard
Exapanding on the pirate au with some pirate captain Cassandra Pentaghast 👀👀👀👀👀 and the signature “Ugh” printed on her face
made in the span of two live streams with your direct input alksjdf i’m in love