Dark/Glow Pale
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writing advice: never italicize words to show emphasis! if you’re writing well then the reader will know and you don’t need them!
me: oh really??? listen up, pal, you can just try an pull italics from my cold, dead fingers
I feel this on a spiritual level.
bringing back this great example.
I can and will italicize the fuck out of my writing, thank you very much.
you can pry italics out of my cold dead hands
My father and I play this… game… in which we both pretend to be attempting to assassinate each other. When we serve the other food or drink, we’ll adopt the most suspicious mannerisms and wording possible, as though the food were secretly poisoned and we are eagerly waiting for them to eat it and die.
The other player pretends that they know their food is poisoned, but must feign ignorance and try to come up with subtle excuses not to eat/drink it without seeming rude or directly confronting the other about the attempted kinslaying.
Wholesome family bonding.
Last night my father brought me “a nice tall glass of ice water” and stood there watching me closely as I sipped it. I pretended to swallow, at which point he threw his head back and laughed maniacally.
While he was laughing, I spit the entire mouthful of water that I’d been holding in my mouth onto his shirt, patted my chest, and said, “Oh, dear, Father; I’m afraid this water was just too cold. I need to let it warm up. Why don’t I make us some… tea.”
Another thing we do is imply that we have set lethal traps for each other.
“Goodnight Father,” I’ll tell him (because Father with a capital F is the most sinister and threatening thing you can call your dad). “I hope you sleep well tonight. Very well. It would be a shame if something… disturbed you.“ In response, he’ll make an offhand remark about needing to Google the upper age limit for sudden infant death syndrome, or he’ll bring up my “inheritance” and the possibility that he might have worthy bastard children somewhere.
My mother does not like our game.
absolutely nothing will top the video game experience of being SHIT at a video game but all the npcs you come into contact with are in awe of you for being the most amazing and talented person they’ve ever met
the seven year old daughter of some npc i’m helping out: PAPA! YOU MUST COME MEET THE HERO WHO SAVED MY LIFE!
me, dropping a grenade on the ground accidentally and immediately blowing myself up:
Pokemon is almost always the opposite of this. I’ll have 6 gods in my party and won the championship a half dozen times and some snot nosed kid with one diglet will still be like, “you think you can beat me?”
My favorite form of redemption arc is “I hate that I have morals now”
Like “I realized that I was in the wrong and now I will work hard to atone” is good and all, but “how dare you infect me with morals” will always be so much more entertaining
That moment the former baddie starts to walk away from some bad situation, almost gets out, and then just stops, curses, and turns around to go help?
*chef’s kiss* delicious
This one gets it
“I always knew deep down, you were a good guy”
“YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!!!!!!”
Years ago I saw a Lord of the Rings display at Barnes and Noble that included a Hallmark-style greeting card with Frodo on the front and inside text that read: “We set out to save the Shire, Sam. And it has been saved. But not for me.”
And I have been thinking about that card ever since, desperately wishing I had bought it, and wondering what the fuck kind of occasion would warrant a card featuring that sentiment.
weirdly enough, i have actually been the recipient of that exact card. it was a birthday card from someone who knew i loved lotr but didn’t really know much about the actual movie, but i feel like she should’ve been clued into the ‘wtf’ vibe from the incredibly agonized face frodo is making on the front of the card.
If you still have that card… I would do anything to see a photo of it. You can cover up the personalized message, but I really, really, really want to see proof that this card existed and was not the product of my overactive imagination.
@glumshoe I FOUND IT!!
I’d forgotten just how close to death Frodo looks on the front, not to mention Sam’s agonized face and the very odd stylistic choice of including the Ring instruction and the Eye of Sauron in the background. who the hell is the target audience for this?
Fuck!!!! It’s so much better than I remembered!
